The Astounding Feat
The
2009
CD
release
from
Mark McElwain
&
Piggy Spank Records
Intro
Car Accident
All We Need
Know-It-All
Loveless
People Who Died
Delivery
Forty-Three Toys
Haunted
Pondering
Lullaby
War Monger
The Incident
Drunk
Not A Man
Bitch
People Who Died (Radio Version)
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AND
Available locally in Eau Claire, WI at
Truckers Union, Speed Of Sound, and Benny HaHa's.
Human nature is loving, loveless, greedy and morbid
We are critical, judgemental, and perverse
We are addicts, murderers and bitches thriving on human suffering and feel-good stories
We are know-it-all drunks dwelling on our dark side til the good in us all prevails
Though we are bereaved in mourning the loss of our dearly beloveds
Life goes on ...
And that is an Astounding Feat
Car Accident
All We Need
Sittin' in my room the other dayWonderin' what to tell my friend
I didn't know what to say
I didn't know if he'd care anyway
We don't listen to our brothers
We don't listen to our friends
We don't hear each other
We don't listen till it's too late, until it's the end
All we NEED is a little bit
All we WANT is a little bit
All we GOT is a little bit of LOVE
We've got a chance to do it right
We've got a chance to save the world
But can we do it all tonight
We've got a chance all you boys all you girls
Know-It-All
You got straight while I got realigned ~ I'm pissed cuz you never lost what I can't find ~ I may be cruel but at least I'm not kind ~ I don't have good looks but what a helluva mind ~ I hate the judgment stage but I love the spotlight ~ I'm filled with rage but you know I don't bite ~ I analyze intellect with no insight and I could kick your ass but I don't fight I've got an answer for everything / If you have a question just ask me / You can't stump me with anything I know it all / Just Ask Me I will certainly forget you but I'll never forgive because my mind is a pain-free flawless sieve ~ I've got everything I need but I have nothing to give ~ I can't find a good reason but I still wanna live ~ I stumble through this maze but there's no place to hide ~ You're standing in my corner but you're not on my side ~ You tell me nothing at all and yet you confide ~ You picked me up … Do you need a ride? ~ I've had so many women but I've never been kissed ~ I am the last name written on an empty list ~ I don't get why the word pacifist has a fist ~ Is it because they pass the clench when they get pissed? ~ Do they use vicious insults instead of sticks and stones and then stalk you and harass you with their pink cell phones with ill-advised innuendos humping jumping your bones like a tree-hugging corporate suit and his mindless drones? ~ I'll give you my confession but I'll only confess what brought me to this flailing wailing hopeless helpless mess ~ Hope is anointed by grace and faith is for the blessed ~ Will you still loan me an "A" when I fail this test? ~ Cuz I'm too intellectual to believe that there's a YOU ~ I wasn't there when YOU did what YOU say YOU do ~ Your omnipresence interferes with what I feel is true so step aside cuz I can't rule the world competing with YOU ... I Know!
Loveless
They came they went each scantily dressed ~ They went more than came and left me loveless ~ They sought my weak spot in the center of my chest ~ They left me there rotting in the depths of loveless ~ I think of them quite often this I must confess ~ In a state of madness they left me loveless ~ I boast that I'm not bitter though pursued I would say yes ~ Cuz I'm just filthy litter along the highway loveless What would you say to me suffering near the street? / Not in the gutter quite yet still needing to eat / Would you embrace me and nurture me or leave me loveless? I've chosen my disguise for the remainder of my quest ~ A clown suits what I wear now I think that fits me best ~ By midnight stars and mountain streams I ponder life's remains ~ In the ripples lie reflections of a man gone quite insane ~ Somehow I have entered the realm of my demise ~ No more my life be centered on what lies within their eyes ~ Obsessions of betrayal not ending with a kiss ~ A chocolate heart so stale well it just tastes loveless ~ By the starlit stream we lay night talk drenched with wine ~ She pushed me in she laughed at me reflections in my mind ~ I FEEL I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I've nothing more to give ~ What possible scenario could present a will to live ~ Ahhhh
Teddy sniffin' glue, he was 12 years old fell from the roof on East Two-nine ~ Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug on 26 reds and a bottle of wine ~ Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old ~ He looked like 65 when he died he was a friend of mine Jenny playing volleyball in Mexico stopped to watch a car stuck in the sand get towed ~ The people gathered round buzzed and baked in the sun didn't take much to make something fun ~ The thin chain snapped swiped off her head ~ Her beach body crumpled and Jenny was dead Herbie pushed Tony from a fourth floor roof ~ Tony thought that his rage was just some goof ~ But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchin' proof ~ "Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?"~ But Tony couldn't fly, Tony died Kinison crashed on his honeymoon a car came too fast and he left too soon ~ Now he screams at Lenny Bruce and Bernie Mac Hey Death! I want my records back!! ~ We'll never see the likes again of Carlin's wit Sh*t P*ss C**t C**ksucker Mother F***er T*ts ~ Travis smokin' crack he was 23 ~ Ohh man how that hurt me ~ I played my guitar at his grave one night ~ The moon and apparitions fronted me the light ~ To put on the best show I'd ever scored rest in peace my ass they were F***ing bored!
They were all my friends, they died
Lyrics by Carroll
Lyrics by McElwain
I got me a new job I call it delivery ~ It takes me to the ghettos man and the things I see ~ I know I've got my problems some are quite immense ~ But God some of the things I've seen are so intense ~ Now I don't have much money don't have much more to give ~ But sometimes I've got to wonder ... how do these people live? ~ Some of you out there have got so much security ~ I don't have much more to give I'm just in delivery World Come Together / Right Now / and Set Love Free I don't have the answers it's not a quiz ~ Just a song to think about that's all it is ~ If we think about it and make an effort to try and change the world in the rat race crazy pace routine things we do ~ World Come Together / Right Now / and Set Love Free ~ It's the faces of the children that tear up in our eyes ~ As we sit upon out wallets and reach toward the sky ~ I wonder what they dream about as they lie awake at night ~ Full of fear not full of food in flashing neon light ~ A toy that isn't broken a washcloth for their face ~ A dress not made of canvas but instead one made of lace ~ A wall not full of roaches a place to lay their head ~ A Happy Meal a teddy bear HEY maybe a bed! WORLD COME TOGETHER RIGHT NOW!!!
Forty-Three Toys
I've got lots of toys I'm just a 'lil boy I'm a man with funky toys ~ Some are retro-groovy some from every movie I've seen in my life ~ My Little Pony loves her macaroni and my cheesy songs ~ Dad and me alone he said he would disown me if I didn't grow up soon "Today's the first day of the rest of your life" / Then I don't have much time Dad I don't need a wife / I need TOYS Aqua man, He-man, G.I. Joe the sea man (the one in the scuba suit) ~ Tinky Winky, Slinky, Dopey, Grumpy, Stinky, Batman, Robin, Spiderman ~ Hulk, Bozo, Tarzan, gotta have a Favre man, Gilligan and Britney Spears ~ Brooke Shields, The Osmonds, Farrah Fawcet, GOD Sends I suppose you think that's weird ~ E.T., Barbie, Hot Wheels cars and Charlie Brown and Lucy clowns with tears ~ Johnny West, Custer, Addams Family, Munsters, Geronimo and Dumbo's ears ~ Fat Albert, Pigpen, Gumby, Yancy Thigpen, Milkey Mouse ... HE'S the Anti-Christ ~ Donald Duck, Smurfs, Lambeau Field turf, Bambi, Dinky, Tootsie Toys
Is this place haunted what should I do ~ It must be haunted cuz I can see right through you ~ This place is haunted it's true I fear ~ And if it's not haunted then tell me what are you doin' here ~ You died inside my mind when I was finished with you ~ I dug your grave and buried you when I said it was through ~ You tried to take my heart rip it up spit me out tear me apart ~ Now you're gone and I've got the perfect epitaph for you ~ You came back from the grave I knew I shoulda cremated you ~ Didn't ya know it's not a real kosher thing for the dead to do ~ You came into my home disappeared waited till I was alone ~ I never believed in zombies till I saw you
As spring is struggling to free itself from winters grave and the flowers wave at the sky ~ As the hammock drips with kiwi tea sun setting softly and drenching me I ask why I PONDER KILLING YOU BUT I WOULDN'T DO IT TONIGHT / IT ISN'T RIGHT BUT PONDERING IS FINE As I look to the sky planes passing by I wanna fly into the blue ~ Thinking of you the things you do vicious words you spew come piercing through in lieu of feeling blue ... ~ Spring has sprung farmers spreading dung ~ The villains have all been hung ~ My song has been sung ~ In my mind I tried but you won't die you linger on you'll be alright for tonight
This is a lullaby for the raging alcoholic not a bitter rant
for the casual drunk ~ You could quit but you don't wanna ~ You
could stop and just smoke marijuana ~ A good drunk says no one
likes a quitter ~ I'm bitter yea cuz everyone loves a drunk ~
Then you say people love me this way~ I could quit I'll do it
on a some day ~ See that girl? She loves me ya heard her ~ I
better stick around to witness the murder ~ Someday soon you're
gonna be dead ~ I'll keep my guitar tuned and play it at your
death bed ~ Music was your life you loved it so much man ~ Now
ya stumble round singin' Duran Duran?
O.K. So here's the deal ... It's not that hard! Ya know the
easiest part about not drinking? Not buying the booze! Oh
look, a big shiny happy display. Says it'll ruin my life.
Well, I better buy that and drink it a lot. I'll be so pissed
if my life isn't ruined. It better have a warranty. Oh, wait,
this one says it will drag everyone I know down with me into
the spiraling abyss of grim gloom total despair. SWEET! Well,
I want that one! I'm not gonna be some loser who does everything
all half-assed. Oh, and it says someday it will kill me. Yes!
I just don't have the guts to do it myself and this way when
I see Saint Peter at the Golden Gate I can say with a relatively
straight face that I did not indeed kill myself ... but further
more to the contrary I was MURDERED BY BOOZE! Oh yea, I got
it all figured out!
So keep on drinkin' and your stinkin' thinkin' ~ Ya can't
free yourself looks like ya need a Lincoln ~ You can't work
with all those kissin' asses ~ Hell, you're above the mindless
workin' masses ~ Next time you look in the mirror ask yourself
can I get a beer here ~ Maybe you're right you had better steer
clear from things that prevent you from cowering in your fear
War Monger
I can't see your face ~ I can only see your facade ~ We're Iraq's little debutante ~ If we don't get what we want ~ Then it's a war mongers comin' out party ~ We can't see your face ~ We don't get your primitive race ~ Too much dust and shrapnel in my face ~ Your women don't wanna come back to my place ~ Bummer then cuz ~ It's a war mongers comin' out party You could send them back to us / NO more faith in "God We Trust" / Instead of you just sending back the dead ones Do you think it's ever gonna end ~ And if you do and you're so smart then when ~ Cuz I've got this here SUV and it sure loves its gasoline mm-hmm ~ Yes indeed ~ I hope the troops are doing well ~ I'll drive this SUV through hell if they are willing to bleed ~ But cars don't run on BLOOD ~ We don't know your name ~ We call you Mohammed's son ~ FLEHS A NO PU SNUG DNA SBMOB RUOY TUP FLESRUOY HTIW PU SU WOLB SI OD ANNAW UOY LLA ~ If you don't it's a war mongers comin' out party Repeat, Repeat….
like a skunk, you're a drunk, always in a funk
You're a drunk, you're a drunk, you're a funkin' drunk
Yea, you are, you are, you're a drunk
You wanted a song well here it is ~ It's so wrong but so are you
I've waited so long for this ~ Regret and remorse have nothing better to do
Wrap yourself up in your distorted views
It's as if you're convinced that you can't choose
Why not blame Hitler instead of the booze
You wouldn't have drank it it weren't for the Jews
Have a tequila, vodka, tequila, vodka, tequila, have another beer
You use love to amuse ~ If you're drunk then you can't lose
Booze booze booze booze booze booze booze booze booze booze booze
You are such a loser
When you're drunk you're irrational ~ You're not sexy no passion at all
How 'bout somethin' different at the count of three ~ Einz Frei Drei Buggery
Roll Over
Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum ~ In the Bum
You're A Drunk!
Not A Man
You're a pansy you're a pup why don't you just give up you're not a man ~ They're not in bed with you cuz you don't know what to do you're not a man ~ That's why I'm telling you listen to me son ~ You're acting like a girl and you're missing all the fun I'm a Man, He's a Man, Would you like to be a Man, too? I know just what they think you'd look real good in pink you're not a man ~ You think that you're so hot but you're really really not you're not a man ~ That's why I'm telling you listen to me fool ~ Stop looking at my ass and wipe away the drool I'm ... He's .. Would you, too? You wiggle and you twirl yea you should've been a girl you're not a man ~ You really get it on when you wear fuscia chiffon you're not a man ~ That's why I'm telling you listen to me fella You're gay (you sang that a capella)
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